Recognize signs of distress and when help is needed 

By Debra Kawahara-Nagata

As a farmer’s wife living with the realities of sustaining a family farm, I understand the unique pressures that come with this way of life. Farming depends on many factors outside our control—weather, market prices, legal and regulatory policies, and financial uncertainty. At the same time, agriculture is built on deeply held values: independence, self sufficiency, responsibility and pride. For many farmers and ranchers, the farm is more than a business; it is a legacy and a core part of their personal identity.

When the future of the farm feels uncertain or threatened, the emotional toll can be significant. Stress can become overwhelming, and the sense of isolation can deepen, even when family or community members are nearby. In agriculture, there is often an unspoken expectation to persevere quietly and solve problems on one’s own. While this resilience is a strength, it can also become an obstacle to speaking up or asking for help during times of distress.

One of agriculture’s greatest assets, however, is its close-knit community. Farmers notice changes in one another. Neighbors step in when help is needed. Because of this, members of the community are often in a position to recognize when someone may be struggling. 

Signs of emotional distress are not always obvious. Often, it is a collection of small changes rather than one clear signal. Trusting your instincts is important. If something feels “off,” it is worth paying attention.

Possible warning signs include:

• Noticeable changes in behavior or mood. The individual may seem different than usual—quieter, more withdrawn, irritable or disengaged. Conversations may feel strained, or their energy and focus may be diminished.

• Giving away belongings. This can include tools, equipment, animals, or personal possessions being given away without a clear reason or in a very abrupt manner.

• Major life stressors. Situations such as significant financial difficulty, crop or livestock losses, legal challenges, foreclosures, injuries or the death of a loved one can increase emotional strain and risk. In agriculture, these hardships may not be readily known or discussed because of the belief in handling challenges and personal matters privately, making it more difficult to identify or address when any of these challenges arise.   

• Increased isolation. Pulling away or distancing themselves from family, friends, meetings or community activities they previously valued.

• Expressions of hopelessness or despair. Statements such as “What’s the point?” or “I don’t see a way out” should be taken seriously, especially if they reflect a change from their usual outlook.

You do not need to see every sign or be certain there is a problem before reaching out. Concern alone is enough to start a conversation. You do not need to have all the answers, and you do not need to “fix” the situation. Often, the most helpful actions are simple, human ones: noticing, listening and staying connected.

• Start the conversation. Choose a private and comfortable setting when possible. Be direct but compassionate. You might say: “I’ve noticed you don’t seem like yourself lately, and I wanted to check in.” “You’ve been dealing with a lot. How are you holding up?” “I wanted to see how you’re really doing. I care about you.”

• Avoid minimizing their experience or rushing to reassurance. Statements such as “It’ll work out” or “You’re strong. You’ll get through it” may unintentionally shut down conversation.

• Listen and be present. Allow the person to talk at their own pace. Silence can feel uncomfortable, but it gives space for reflection. Your role is to listen, not to make any conclusions or solve the problem for them.

• Helpful responses include: “That sounds overwhelming.” “I can see why this would weigh on you.”“I’m really glad you told me.” Listening without expressing judgment can reduce feelings of isolation and help someone feel seen and understood.

• Encourage support and stay connected. If distress appears ongoing or intense, gently encourage additional support. In agriculture, framing help as another tool or resource—no different from seeking expert advice for equipment or finances—can feel more acceptable. You might say: “You’ve been carrying a lot on your own. Talking with someone outside the situation could really help.” “Asking for help doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re doing what’s needed to protect yourself and your family.”

Follow up when you can. A phone call, text message or stopping by can be powerful reminders that the person is not alone.

If someone talks about feeling trapped, wanting to die, or harming themselves or others, take it seriously. Stay with them, either in person or by phone. Encourage immediate help. Call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7 for confidential support. You can call for guidance even if you are unsure what to say or do. You can call 911 or take the person to the emergency room if he or she is in imminent danger of harm.

Seeking emergency help is an act of care and responsibility, not a betrayal of trust. Agriculture depends on resilience, hard work and perseverance. But no one can or should carry everything alone. Paying attention to one another, asking difficult questions and offering support can make a real difference, not just for individuals but for the entire agricultural community. Sometimes the most important thing you can say is simply, “I’m here, and you don’t have to go through this alone.”

Dr. Debra Kawahara-Nagata is the 2025 president of the American Psychological Association and interim academic dean at the California School of Professional Psychology, Alliant International University. She can be reached at dkawahara@alliant.edu.

In this edition…

• View full issue
• Groundwater law begins reshaping valley
• Warm, dry start of spring sparks fire season concerns
• Cultivate the future through agricultural education
• Recognize signs of distress and when help is needed
• From the Fields: Jeff Colombini, San Joaquin County cherry and apple grower
• From the Fields: Stuart Mast, Calaveras County vintner
• From the Fields: Loren Poncia, Marin County rancher
• From the Fields: Ron Macedo, Stanislaus County agritourism operator
• Hot temps, new varieties boost strawberry volumes
• Young farmers talk policies during Capitol advocacy visit
• Drought, water restrictions drive innovation in tech
• USDA announces $9 million for cling peach tree removal
• Advocacy in Action: Farm Bureau tracks labor bills, applauds Farm Bill House passage